Why is a raven like a writing desk?
by candycanecoolio
Summary: Merlin is getting tired of Arthur's prattish, but funny, behavior, when he is asked to catch a rat and a strange blue box appears. This is going (most likely) to be a multi chapter fic, as I've got a rough plot figured out. Please enjoy!
1. The strange blue box

Author's note: I wanted to say this is my first fanfiction, and I'd like your feedback! It's going to be a multi-chapter little thing (probably) so please GIVE ME CRITICISM!

* * *

Wiping his hands on his pants, he stood, grinning with a slightly annoyed look in his eyes as he heard "Merlin!" He shook his head, leaning down, hands on his thighs. He'd just polished Arthur's many boots. He was a bit proud, honestly.

"MERLIN!"

Sighing, he stood up and leaned his head back, saying just under a yell "Arthur, I'm in the room next to you. Just walk in here."

It was quiet for a bit more, and Merlin was starting to get annoyed.

He walked into the hallway, and saw Arthur backed up against a window, squatting against the sill. He was a bit red in the face.

"MERLIN! GET-"

He saw Merlin, and let out a breath. Merlin was a bit worried, at this stage. Arthur cleared his throat.

"Merlin," he began, in a much deeper voice, "There is a mouse beside that door. I'd like you to catch it."

Merlin's eyes went bright with humor. He said, a bit bewildered, "Y-You want me to catch it, sire?" bending over and gesturing to the doorway. It was his turn to become red in the face, now. His laughter had to come at some point.

Arthur tried to look haughty. He raised his chin high, and said, rather seriously, "Yes. I would like you to catch the mouse."

Merlin stood up, delighted. He grinned and crept slowly to the little brown ball of fur, peeking back at Arthur.

He was about to cup his hands around the little thing, when it turned, hissed, and bit him. Merlin jumped back.

"It bit me!"

"Don't be such a girl, Merlin. It's a mouse."

Merlin threw his hands up in frustration.

"Merlin, you can catch it, can't you?"

Merlin opened his mouth, closed it, and jerked his head away. He WAS going to catch that mouse.

He dived after it, and it simply scampered off. He kept chasing, but to no avail.

"Put your back into it, Merlin."

Merlin mocked him.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, sire."

Merlin kept running into walls, but did not catch the mouse. He was afraid to feel the many bruises and bumps on his head.

He leaned on the wall, catching his breath, while Arthur, still on the windowsill, managed to look smug. The prat.

"Merlin, stop wasting ti-"

Arthur cut off as a big blue box landed, squishing the rat. Merlin laughed.

"What, sire, is there a huge rat behind me?"

Arthur pointed wordlessly and managed to mouth "Magic."

Merlin panicked, wondering what he'd done to reveal himself to Arthur. But, then, he followed Arthur's outstretched finger and saw the box. It was tall and making strange noises.

It appeared to have a doorway with a keyhole, windows, and said POLICE BOX at the top, whatever that meant. He saw the doorway rattle, as if something was going to get out, but he was rooted to the spot.

"Merlin!"

This time, it was not an angry cry, but a worried one. Merlin forced his head to turn to Arthur, who was now bounding off of the window sill. He saw Merlin's worried eyes and stepped between him and the blue box.

"Merlin, you're such a girl," he said a bit hoarsely.

Merlin rolled his eyes and tensed, waiting for the threatening blue box to open.

* * *

"Doctor!" Donna yelled, a bit annoyed. He was staring blankly at the dials, mouthing soundlessly.

"Doctor! Snap out of it!"

He started, shook his head a bit, and turned to look at Donna, perplexed.

"I don't understand," he said.

"What is it, Doctor?"

"We were supposed to...oh, nevermind. Let's have a look at where we are, shall we?"

Donna looked apalled. "You mean you don't know?"

His voice got a bit high-pitched.

"Wellk we were going to London, 1962, but...I mishit a button, and I only know we're way back in the past than we meant to go.

"Right," said Donna, looking less appalled and more irritated by the minute. "And I suppose you expect me to just go along, trailing you even though we have no clue where we are?"

All the Doctor could do was smile, a bit sheepishly all things granted.

Donna huffed, pointed towards the door, and said, "Right. On you go, the."

The doctor rolled his eyes, went up to the door, and said "Donna, if I am in danger, and have to regenerate, and am still not a ginger, I blame you."

And with that he opened the door.


	2. The Doctor and the Donna

Author's note: Thank you for reading this story, it means a lot! I should probably be doing one of many projects, but I can procrastinate a little longer, don't you think? Please review if you read this, as I would like your input!

* * *

A head popped out of the blue box, thin and spiky-haired, eyes bright. The man grinned.

"Hello."

Arthur looked affronted.

"What trickery is this?"

The man looked at the point of Arthur's sword, as he'd drawn it the second the door had opened.

"Well, that's nice," the stranger said. He looked shocked yet amused.

"Sorcerer, speak your name!" Arthur ordered. He was obviously out of his depth.

The man stepped out of the strange blue box, revealing strange attire. He looked back into the blue box.

"Donna," he said.

Arthur and merlin looked bewildered.

"Your name is Donna?" said Arthur. He and Merlin looked at each other, bewildered.

Arthur whispered to Merlin, "No wonder this bloke looks a bit out of sorts,"

As soon as Arthur said this, a redheaded woman came out of the box, lips pursed in annoyance.

"Doctor, where are we?" She said, looking at Merlin and Arthur a bit alarmed. She turned her head to the man beside her, but kept her eyes fixedly on them. Merlin and Arthur just got very, very confused.

"You-you're a doctor?" Arthur asked the man.

The man looked exasperated, looked at Donna, rolled his eyes, and looked to the heavens. He muttered something about having to explain all over again, looked back at them, and took a breath.

"No, I'm not A doctor, I'm THE doctor."

"You're a bit self-riteous, aren't you?" said Merlin, smiling a bit. Arthur rolled his eyes.

The redheaded woman decided that enough was enough. She started talking just as the strange man had proceeded to open his mouth.

"Right, I'm Donna Noble and this is The Doctor. We ended up in wherever this is because he decided that it would be interesting to just see where that Big Blue Box over there takes us. Now, you know who we are, so it's your turn. Who are you?"

Arthur looked as if he'd swallowed something disgusting, while Merlin just looked like he had just recieved everything he wanted for christmas and was about to be set free in a candy store. He was trying extremely hard not to laugh.

"Wha-" was all Arthur could manage to get out. Merlin took the lead.

"Hello, I'm Merlin, this is King Arthur. I'm his slave, more or less, and he goes about his way trying to make me do everything. But, he loves poetry!"

The man, The Doctor, Merlin supposed, and Donna stared open-mouthed at the two men in front of them, as if they were seeing ghosts.

"Wha...you...he..." Donna kept gesturing to them, herself, and The Doctor, unable to get any words out. Then, she found something to say. She stared at them, stared at The Doctor, and just looked all around for a momemt. She turned to The Doctor, put her hands on her hips, and said exactly two words.

"Bloody Hell!"

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Author's note: So, there you go. My updating may be a bit erratic, as I have lots of things to do and such. Thank you, and, as said at the top, REVIEW!


	3. Premonition

Guys, this isn't a chapter so much a chapter as it is a preview. I refuse to post the next chapter until I have at least one review. I would like the criticism, and the fact that I haven't gotten any reviews really discourages me from finishing this story. I want to have some inspiration, some reason to continue! So, please review or no more ravens and writing desks. And you shall never discover why I named it what I did!

* * *

Merlin was currently holding arthur back by pure magic, forcing him to keep calm. He could just feel the "I hate you down to the fiery depths of hell" tension in the room. The Doctor person and that Donna girl said they traveled to their time in the strange blue box, which was actually a special machine that could travel through time and go to different planets. The two strange people had, according to them, seen aliens, whatever the (to take a page out of Donna's book) they were. So, yeah. It had been an awkward day. He was actually tempted to REALLY go to the tavern. Instead, he started to ask questions. Very calmly, as he, too, was extremely suspicious.

"First of all, why shouldn't we either throw you into the dungeons or kill you for lying to us. You obviously have magic."

And then The Doctor said something that would change everything.

"I'm not magic. But I know that Arthur will die. And I also know how to stop it."


	4. The strange wonders of royal expressions

Author's note: Guys, thanks for reviewing, I feel so special! I shall try my best to keep the charicterization going. And I shall be holding this hostage again. I want 3 more reviews before I will continue. *Cackles*

* * *

Merlin was currently holding arthur back by pure magic, forcing him to keep calm. He could just feel the "I hate you down to the fiery depths of hell" tension in the room. The Doctor person and that Donna girl said they traveled to their time in the strange blue box, which was actually a special machine that could travel through time and go to different planets. The two strange people had, according to them, seen aliens, whatever the (to take a page out of Donna's book) bloody hell they were. So, yeah. It had been an awkward day. He was actually tempted to REALLY go to the tavern. Instead, he started to ask questions. Very calmly, as he, too, was extremely suspicious.

"First of all, why shouldn't we either throw you into the dungeons or kill you for lying to us. You obviously have magic."

And then The Doctor said something that would change everything.

"I'm not magic. But I know that Arthur will die. And I also know how to stop it."

* * *

As The Doctor explained everything that happened and everything that they were able to do with the TARDIS, Donna tried and failed to keep a straight face. The two men who were utterly clueless had expressions that said everything, and they were quite red in the face. When The Doctor got to the bit about Arthur dying, both of the men's faces contorted, and she felt a laugh bubble up in her stomach. She tried to fight it off, but just as Arthur's face looked as if it was about to explode, she burst out laughing.

"You...you...red...oh..." She panted, trying to get her laughter under control.

"You're bloody priceless, you are! I just...oh, bloody hell, I can't...I can't..." She was wheezing, and, as The Doctor and Arthur and Merlin had equally confused faces, she burst out laughing again. She just couldn't control it, she couldn't stop.

"Why...why are you laughing?" Arthur said, apalled, and turned to Merlin. "Why the _hell _is she laughing, Merlin?"

At that point, Merlin had begun to see how funny Arthur looked. At his words, he collapsed into a mass of laughing mush, literally rolling around on his back.

Then, as if it was a chain of laughter, The Doctor cracked a smile, then burst out laughing as hard as he could, letting all the tension out of his bird-like bones.

As the three got redder and redder in the face, Arthur just sat there looking aghast. The look on his face...

Donna finally got her laughter under control, and proceeded to wipe tears from her eyes.

"You royal blokes are really something. The look on your face!"

Arthur managed to remain the cold and stony demeanor he was trying to put off. Just.

"Well, if we're all done here, you will explain to me how exactly you came to get here."

The Doctor and Donna looked at each other worriedly. They seemed to be thinking the exact same thing, whatevery it may have been.

"King Arthur, we just explained..." The Doctor said.

* * *

Merlin looked very, very tense. After their bout of laughing, he was brought back to the present, and was very worried. He already knew Arthur was destined to die, no matter how hard Merlin tried to ignore the fact it was set in stone. As Arthur grilled the duo, Merlin decided to take action.

"Arthur, he said you were going to die. Let's just hear him out. Please."

And, because he was Arthur and Merlin was Merlin, Arthur grunted affirmation and Merlin responded happily.

"Er."


	5. Revealed

Author's note: OMG IT IS DONE.

* * *

Merlin heard what The Doctor was saying. He really did. But he also knew that if he'd comprehended it, he'd have to do somethin he tried not to think about. He knew he'd have to tell Arthur. And that was very, very bad. The doctor finished up.

"Any questions?"

Arthur just stared blatantly, too shocked to do anything else. Merlin was chewing his lip, debating whether or not to come clean that _he_ was the sorcerer that The Doctor had spoken about. He grimaced internally.

Arthur and Merlin looked at each other, then stood, then looked at The Doctor and Donna, and sat.

"Could we have a bit, Donna?"

Arthur was more afraid of the girl than the man.

"Why not? I'll take this nutter with me." She jerked her hand to The Doctor.

And then they left.

* * *

Arthur started pacing around the room.

"So, this man, this...Doctor, he says that I will be killed by one who is close to me. A night. And, a wizard will give up everything to save me. He'll fail. What the hell am I supposed to believe, Merlin?"

Merlin kept quiet.

"Merlin, what the hell? I need help! I need...I need someone I can trust. Merlin, answer me!"

Merlin was chewing on his nails, a thing he never did. He was very nervous. He knew what had to happen in order to save Arthur, But he just couldn't, not yet. It just...it would ruin everything. He was afraid. Not of punishment, but of who he would lose. He would lose his best friend. And he didn't want that to happen.

"Merlin...why are you so quiet? You usually go on like a blithering idiot."

Merlin stood up.

"Arthur, you might want to sit down. You might also want to have some wine or beer or some form of alcohol."

"Merlin, have you been to the tavern again?"

Merlin gave him such a look that he had to sit down. "What, Merlin?"

Merlin took a deep breath and knew that everything was about to change. He knew that he had to tell Arthur. He felt as though he sat there for hours, but it could have only been a moment or two. Arthur waited.

"Arthur, I have to tell you this. I can't keep this secret while we're going through this."

Arthur's eyes grew wide.

"Arthur, I..."

Arthur opened his mouth. Or, rather, it dropped.

"I'm magic."

It was done.


	6. Goodbye

Author's note: This chapter refused to leave my mind, my thoughts refused to be molded into words. Please review! Sorry it's not the best, I tried. Sorry for the angst!

* * *

Arthur didn't know what to say. He just sat. And sat. And sat. And SAT. He didn't do anything, and this worried Merlin more than anything else. And then Arthur spoke.

"Merlin, that's so funny, time to get on with it. So, what are we going to do with the sorcerer?" Arthur sounded amused and scared, if that was even a possible combination.

Merlin didn't know what do do. He couldn't take that back, because that would be a lie, and he had done enough lying already. So he decided to run with it, though he knew that Arthur would never forgive him.

"Arthur, I'm serious."

Arthur's slight smirk faded a little, and his eyes grew just a bit.

"Merlin, you can't be serious. You, a wizard?" But he seemed only half-joking.

"Arthur, I..."

Arthur's eyes grew cold.

"Merlin, you had better tell me the truth." It was his last shred of hope.

"I did." Merlin cast his eyes down. He knew what was coming. He couldn't face what was about to happen. He would be forced to go to jail and face trial.

"Go." Arthur barely made a sound.

"Wha-what?" Merlin couldn't believe his ears.

"Go!" Arthur looked like he was in excruciating pain, his hand lain gently on his sword, his body tense and his eyes bright with hate.

"Merlin, get out." And Arthur felt broken. He had endured attacks, deaths, killings, grief, guilt, and every torture that meant anything. And the one thing he was broken by, the ONE THING, was his best friend. He turned away.

Merlin backed away, then, just before the door, he turned and ran. He didn't know anything anymore. He didn't know love or life or happiness. He didn't know what he was going to do, how he was going to save Arthur, who he could turn to. He didn't know how to save himself, who The Doctor was, or how he could help. The one thing he knew, though, was the most important thing he'd ever known. More important than how to speak to dragons, more important than knowing who Mordred really was, more important than anything.

He didn't stop running. He ran past Gaius, who looked at him in alarm. He ran past Gwen, who looked confused. He ran past the knights and the table and the door and the town and the Kingdom. He went past shops and countryside, and he was exhausted, but this just fueled his fire, stoked his pain. He ran and ran until he couldn't, and then he walked. He walked past the crumbly ruins of castles and druid camp remnants and he limped on and on until he couldn't lift a single finger, couldn't move a muscle.

He collapsed onto the ground, unsure of where he was and where he was going and what he was running from. Just before he collapsed into exhaustion, he let himself think, because doing that before would have killed him more than the running ever could. The one thing he knew was that he had just done something that couldn't be undone. And now he could never go back.

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Again, review please!


	7. The Aftermath

A/N: Please, please, please don't kill me! I'm so sorry, I've had writers block and technical difficulties everything else. Thanks for sticking with me!

* * *

Arthur woke up the next day and decided he was hungry.

"Merlin!" He yelled, smiling at the chance to tease him.

"Mer-" He cut off abruptly. Merlin. What had he done. What had he done?

"Merlin," He whispered, putting his head in his hands.

"Merlin." It was a hollow sound.

* * *

Merlin woke up aching in all the wrong places, with dirt in nooks and crannies dirt should never be in. He had no clue where he was, and he couldn't go where he needed to be. He was completely, utterly, and truly messed up. Lovely.

He groaned as he got up, wishing that the past...day? Hour? Minute? Had been a dream. It had all happened so fast, so rushed, that he wasn't sure it had happened at all until he felt his heart throb at Arthur's words. He'd really, really made his opinion of Merlin clear last night.

As Merlin dusted himself off, he felt his legs give out from underneath him as he fell. All that running and all that not thinking make for a very tired Merlin.

"That prat didn't even let me get my things," He grumbled, but he knew he'd left so fast he hadn't even given _himself_ a chance to get his things.

Merlin tilted his head back as he thought about what to do next. Then he heard a whooshing sound.

* * *

Arthur got ready as usual, minus a Merlin. Merlin. He would have to stop thinking that name.

As he was putting his usual tunic and trousers on, he heard a clanking sound and a thump. He put on that damned belt, the one Merlin...that guy insisted that needed a new hole, and turned to open the door. He got a facefull of red, swishing hair.

"Doctor, I told you there would be-" She cut off as the Doctor seemed to look over or around her, not at her. she turned around warily.

"G'day, Mate. How is that head? Headache yet? I know after this bloke told me about his TARDIS and everything I had a bit of pounding myself," Donna said.

Arthur looked at them warily. He then proceeded to curse. Then he looked at them again.

"You're serious, you mean? You're not trying to fool me?" He raised his eyebrows and screwed up as if to say,"Because I'm not a fool."

"Yes, I wouldn't lie! She's the one who's all...manipulative."

Before donna had a chance to retaliate, Arthur spoke.

"Then show me."

* * *

"Hello, young warlock," Kilgarrah said in the gravelly, deep, old-sounding voice he had. As Merlin looked on, astonished, Kilgarrah landed right in front of him. He always managed to look smug, and Merlin was respectful and admiring of the Dragon, but he could be a right pain in the butt sometimes.

"Hello," Merlin said unabashedly, convincing himself that confidence, in this case, was key.

"What have you done now, Merlin?" The dragon sounded exasperated.

"I had to tell Arthur," Merlin was squinting up at the dragon at that point.

"You had to tell him? What prompted you into action?"

"A man came and told the future, what was going to happen, and he said that a wizard tried to help Arthur and failed. I failed. And I knew that Arthur would have guessed eventually, would have found out. I had to tell him."

"This does not bode well for you. You need to stay at Arthur's side."

"I know."

* * *

A/N: Like I said, writer's block and technical difficulties. Sorry if this was a bit OOC, I tried. I'm happier with this than I was before. You should have seen the original version. I shudder to think of what would have happened if I put the original version out. Thanks, and REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!


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